How to Build a Life That Actually Feels Like Yours
Why Walking Away from the Script Is the Start of Something Real
We all know the script.
Get the job. Buy the house. Climb the ladder. Save for retirement.
It’s predictable, familiar, and for a lot of people—it works. But what if it doesn’t work for you?
Building a life that feels like yours often means stepping off the well-worn path. It means making choices that don’t always make sense to the people around you. It means trading predictability for possibility—and that takes courage.
When I left a 20-year career in game development, it didn’t make sense to a lot of people. On paper, I had a dream job—creativity, stability, success. But it didn’t feel like my life anymore. I had spent years building “choose your own adventure” experiences for other people to play while becoming more disconnected from my own life’s adventure.
The hardest part wasn’t walking away.
It was knowing that I was choosing a path that no one else could map out for me. I was saying no to a script that looked good on paper but didn’t feel like my own.
Living a life that feels fully yours isn’t about finding a perfect plan. It’s about trusting yourself enough to build something different—something real—even when no one else understands it.
“If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.” — Jen Sincero
Why Building Your Life Requires Courage
We’re wired to seek belonging.
From an early age, we learn to read the room. We’re taught to fit in, follow the rules, and make choices that align with what’s expected. And for a lot of people, that’s enough.
But building a life that feels like yours often means going against the grain. It means saying no to paths that look safe but don’t feel right. It means questioning things most people never stop to think about.
That’s where courage comes in.
When I left game development, I didn’t have a map for what came next. I wasn’t leaving because I had a perfect plan—I left because I couldn’t keep living a life that didn’t feel like mine. But what made it hard wasn’t just the uncertainty.
It was the silence.
When you step off the well-worn path, there’s no applause. No immediate validation. Just quiet. And sometimes, doubt.
I didn’t know if my passion for fitness would lead anywhere. I wasn’t sure if small changes could really shift the direction of my life. But I knew one thing for sure—I was more afraid of staying stuck than I was of trying something new.
It’s easier to follow a path that’s already been paved. When you go off-road, you don’t always know where it’s leading. And that’s terrifying.
But that’s also where real freedom lives.
I wasn’t sure where my path was going when I started. I just knew I was tired of standing still. I was tired of living a life that didn’t feel like it belonged to me. And step by step, that’s what started to change.
Building a life that feels like yours takes courage—not because you’re guaranteed success, but because you’re choosing to trust yourself enough to try.
And once you start, the path doesn’t get easier. But it does get real.
Why Your Version of Success Won’t Look Like Anyone Else’s
We love clear paths and familiar benchmarks.
Go to school. Get the job. Buy the house. Check off the boxes that tell you you’re on track.
But what happens when those paths don’t lead where you want to go?
“It’s incredibly easy to be busy—too busy, in fact—climbing the ladder of success, only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall.”— Stephen R. Covey
Most people never ask that question. They stick to the script because it’s easier. Safer. More predictable. But when you start building a life that’s actually yours, the script disappears.
Your version of success won’t fit neatly into someone else’s blueprint.
When I started getting more active in my life, I wasn’t trying to build a career. I wasn’t even seriously considering any kind of change at that time.
I was just trying to figure out what felt real again. I was doing things that gave me space to breathe and think and redefine what a successful life meant to me—things that had nothing to do with a promotion, a paycheck, or what looked good on paper.
That probably didn’t look like success to anyone else at the time. I was living with my parents, walking in the woods with my dog, and publishing medium stories in my free time that maybe 20 people read. But for the first time in years, I felt connected to something that mattered to me.
And that’s the part no one talks about.
When you define success on your own terms, it might not look impressive from the outside. You might not have a highlight reel that fits into everyone else’s expectations.
But success isn’t about impressing people. It’s about alignment with who you are.
It’s about choosing things that make you feel alive, not just busy. It’s about investing your time in things that bring you closer to the life you actually want, not the one you think you’re supposed to have.
I wasn’t chasing success when I started exploring life again. But by following what felt important to me, I stumbled into a life that finally felt like mine. And that led me to racing, coaching, and helping others live more boldly—versions of success I couldn’t have even predicted back then.
Your version of success will look different. And that’s the whole point.
When you stop trying to live someone else’s life, you make space for the life that’s waiting for you.
How to Start Building a Life That’s Fully Yours
Living a life that feels real doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not about flipping a switch or making some massive change overnight.
It starts by making small, honest choices—again and again.
When I was just starting out, I didn’t know what my next chapter looked like. I didn’t have a master plan to become a coach or build a life around running. I just knew I was tired of living a life that felt disconnected.
So I started small.
I went hiking every morning. Not because I had a fitness goal, but because being in nature helped clear my mind.
I wrote about what I was learning. Not to build an audience or impress anyone, but because writing helped me process what I was feeling.
I tried things that made me curious. I didn’t know where they’d lead, but they felt worth exploring.
None of it felt “big” or “bold” at the time. But those small choices slowly opened up new possibilities. They led to bigger questions to explore, and gave me the clarity I needed to start imagining a different kind of life from the one I’d been living.
If you want to start building a life that feels like yours, start where you are.
Follow what makes you curious. Explore things that pull at you—even if they don’t seem “practical” yet.
Pay attention to what feels good. Not in a fleeting, dopamine-hit way—but the things that leave you feeling more alive afterward.
Trust the things that make you feel like yourself. They’re clues. They’re pointing you toward something real.
Don’t worry about having a perfect plan. You don’t need one.
You just need to stop waiting.
One small choice can change everything.
So, where do you begin?
Right where you are.
Building a life that feels like yours isn’t about flipping everything upside down. It’s about making one honest choice at a time.
Follow what makes you curious. Say yes to things that pull at you. Say no to things that drain you.
Pay attention to what feels real—and do more of that.
You don’t need to overhaul your life. You just need to stop living one that doesn’t feel like yours.
What’s one small, bold choice you can make today to start building the life you actually want?